hintsandthings.co.uk »Nursery

How to Deal with Bullying – what to do if you, or someone you know, are being bullied.



Liz Carnell

Finding out that your child has been bullied is
stressful and upsetting but most cases can be sorted out quickly.

For a primary school pupil, call in to see the class
teacher to ask for his/her help. Often, the playground supervisor can keep
an eye on the situation and make sure that your child is not left out of
games or pushed around. 

For a secondary school pupil then phone or send a
note to the head of year explaining who is doing what and how upset your
child has become. Ask for the bullies to be warned off.

If these things don’t work, then help your child to
keep a diary and write a letter to the head teacher, there are examples that
may help on the Bullying Online website. Outline the background and ask for a strategy
to be introduced to deal with the problem. Ask how this will be monitored.

If you’ve already made complaints then ask what
action was taken against the bullies and for a copy of the school bullying

If you’re still not satisfied, then make a complaint
to the chairman of governors and then to the director of education services
at your council.

Bullying can cause sleepless nights and stress so if
your child is badly affected take him/her to your doctor and ask if the
doctor will write a note to the school explaining the effect that bullying
is having on his/her health.

You can also phone the council education welfare
officer (sometimes called an education social worker) and ask her to
intervene with the school. Her role is to ensure that pupils attend school
and if your child is starting to be reluctant to go in then she may be able
to help before it gets to the situation that the child is truanting.

If you’re told that your child is a bully then don’t
over react. The school needs your support to solve the problem.

A younger child may not understand the distress that
their behaviour is causing. There is a section about what sort of things are
bullying behaviour on the Bullying Online website.

If you’re a pupil being bullied then if you need to
ask an outside organisation like Bullying Online for help, your parents
really need to know about it.

It can be hard to tell them if you’re afraid they’ll
be annoyed or upset but they’d be more upset if they knew you were unhappy
and hadn’t told them about it.

Your parents should first contact your class teacher
if you’re at primary school or your head of year and then head teacher if
you’re at secondary school.

Sometimes people are afraid the bullies will make
more trouble for them but your parents could ask for supervision to be
increased so that the bullies will either not be able to get away with their
behaviour or they’ll be spotted in action.

Bullies pick on the things about you they know upset
you most. This could be your looks, weight, a disability, because you work
hard or are popular. In fact, they’ll pick on things like your family too if
they think that’s the thing you don’t like.

It’s best to try not to react to their remarks
because that’s what they like most. That doesn’t mean you should ignore what
they say, you should report it to a teacher, your school matron or your

Bullies can wind you up and make you so upset you
want to hit back. Don’t do that because you’re the one likely to get into
trouble. Tell your parents what’s going on. If you’re hit, kicked or
threatened with violence your parents could make a complaint to the police.

Keep a diary of bullying so that if you need to, you
can show your head teacher and the police what’s going on.

Be careful who you give your mobile phone number to.
If an ex-friend starts giving it to other people and you get threatening or
abusive calls or text messages get your parents to contact the police and
change the number.

More on




 – this guide not only
covers cyberbullying but several other aspects on keeping children safe while

The full guide for parents, children and schools