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More of Life’s Imponderables – or at least something to think about.




EVEN
MORE OF LIFE’S IMPONDERABLES.

person with question mark over head

The
definition of “imponderable” is “cannot be estimated
or assessed in any definite way” or “something difficult
or impossible to assess”.  

Not all those listed
on this site fall strictly into this category if given enough
thought.  For example – “Why do shops have signs saying ‘
Guide dogs only’ when dogs can’t read?  Obviously the sign is
meant for (non guide) dog owners who can read.

Nevertheless they do
give something to think about!


If we can’t see air does that mean fish can’t
see water?

Ashleigh Heard

Barney and
Friends.” a TV show for three year olds, closed captioned?

John Johns

If Men are
from Mars and women are from Venus – Why are we on Earth?

Joseph
Ferrara

Since we put a
steak on a black eye, what does a cow put on?

Phil
Williamson

When
rushing the QB in touch football, we always count off, ‘one Mississipi,
two Mississippi…’, what do they say in Mississippi?

Phil Williamson

Steve Beer kindly sent in
all the following –
Why does no-one in soap operas talk about soap operas?
The Italians have had some of the greatest painters in history, so why did it take a Frenchman (Napoleon) to invent their national flag?
What was the best-selling book before the Bible?
If a sundial was used to tell the time using the sun, how did they use to tell the time at night?
Why do shops have signs saying “guide dogs only”? Dogs can’t read!
If all roads lead to Rome, how do Romans get anywhere?
What do the Chinese have when they fancy a take-away?
As so many products are an amount and 99p
(i.e £2.99, £99.99), why don’t we have a ninety-nine pence coin?
When Doctor Who is being chased by the
Daleks, why doesn’t he just run up some stairs?

Alex Moss suggests it is because “Daleks
can fly”. 

I think this was
introduced in the late 1980s.

What came first, the orange fruit or the colour?
Why is it you can get a pizza delivered much faster than you can get an ambulance to attend?

Is Boston cream pie a pie or a cake?

Dan Zavadil


Is a gram cracker a cracker or cookie?

Dan Zavadil

Where the parents of the seven dwarves normal-sized people? And did they get to seven and THEN stop trying for a girl?
Why do dictionaries have page numbers – there is no index! And why do they contain words like ‘tree’ – we all know what a tree is.
Why do mirrors reflect left to right, but not upside-down?

Actually mirrors only
exactly reflect what is in front of them they do not reverse an image.

Why is “abbreviated” such a long word?
If mynah birds can talk, why do you never hear two of them having a conversation?
What’s at the other end of a rainbow?
If God created man in his own image, why do we all look so
different?
Why is it one match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to light a barbecue?
Why does the Commission for Racial Equality not have more white people working for it?
Why is a drunk unintelligible to anyone sober, but two drunks can have an in-depth discussion?
If there are two sides to every argument, what happens when the people in a ménage-a-trois fall out?
How do environmentalists get to all the rallies and conventions they attend – they can’t possibly walk or cycle everywhere?
Why is
“brassiere” singular but “panties” is plural?

Dave Poole

What’s the opposite of “flammable”? “Inflammable” means the same thing! 

Not really an
imponderable as the answer is “non-flammable” – perhaps this
should have read “why does flammable and inflammable mean the same
thing?” however, there is also an answer to this –

The word Inflammable
was used for a long time, but emergency organisation and insurers,
concerned that the in- prefix would be misunderstood to mean
“un-” or “non-” (which in another in prefix it does) decided to
remove all doubt by labelling things that can burn flammable. Both
words are still in use, and both are Standard. Nonflammable,
incombustible,
and noncombustible are antonyms of flammable
and inflammable: they mean “fireproof.”

 

Why do you need to make an appointment with a clairvoyant – don’t they know you are coming?
Why do suicide bombers where helmets?

Keegen

How come a wood is made of trees, yet trees are made of wood?
Can cross-eyed teachers control their pupils?
How many light-bulb jokes does it take to change an accountant?
How come every time I feel like opening a can of worms, the supermarket’s out of stock?
Do temporary traffic lights ever get to hold down a permanent position?
How do you go about cooking the shrimp that live around volcanic fumaroles on the ocean floor, where the temperature is about 500 degrees
Celcius? (Yes, I know really, I’m a physicist, but the truth is dull.)

Above 6 contributed by Hamish Ramsay

Why in medicine commercials, the
people use the medicine that doesn’t work, when they already own
the working medicine?

Deedee
Wheeler

Why do they call it
“carpet”, if it has nothing to do with cars, or pets?

Pablo

How come, when a very
attractive woman gets angry with a man, she’ll sometimes say….”Kiss my
ass?” That’s more of a turn on than a retort.

David K

Why do they call them escalators and elevators when they go
down?

Susan
Griffin

Are phones in prison called cell phones?

Susan Griffin

Why are belly buttons
(navel) present in all drawings and paintings of Adam and Eve?

John
Ensalaco

If Round-Up kills grass,
would Square-Down make it grow?

David Luzader

If you have a bad dream
during an afternoon nap, would it be called a daymare?

David Luzader

More Imponderables – 
2 and 4