More of Life’s Imponderables – or at least something to think about.
March 31, 2020
EVEN MORE OF LIFE’S IMPONDERABLES.
The definition of “imponderable” is “cannot be estimated or assessed in any definite way” or “something difficult or impossible to assess”.
Not all those listed on this site fall strictly into this category if given enough thought. For example – “Why do shops have signs saying ‘ Guide dogs only’ when dogs can’t read? Obviously the sign is meant for (non guide) dog owners who can read.
Nevertheless they do give something to think about!
If we can’t see air does that mean fish can’t see water?
Barney and Friends.” a TV show for three year olds, closed captioned?
If Men are from Mars and women are from Venus – Why are we on Earth?
Since we put a steak on a black eye, what does a cow put on?
When rushing the QB in touch football, we always count off, ‘one Mississipi, two Mississippi…’, what do they say in Mississippi?
Steve Beer kindly sent in all the following –
Why does no-one in soap operas talk about soap operas?
The Italians have had some of the greatest painters in history, so why did it take a Frenchman (Napoleon) to invent their national flag?
What was the best-selling book before the Bible?
If a sundial was used to tell the time using the sun, how did they use to tell the time at night?
Why do shops have signs saying “guide dogs only”? Dogs can’t read!
If all roads lead to Rome, how do Romans get anywhere?
What do the Chinese have when they fancy a take-away?
As so many products are an amount and 99p (i.e Â£2.99, Â£99.99), why don’t we have a ninety-nine pence coin?
When Doctor Who is being chased by the Daleks, why doesn’t he just run up some stairs?
Alex Moss suggests it is because “Daleks can fly”.
I think this was introduced in the late 1980s.
What came first, the orange fruit or the colour?
Why is it you can get a pizza delivered much faster than you can get an ambulance to attend?
Is Boston cream pie a pie or a cake?
Is a gram cracker a cracker or cookie?
Where the parents of the seven dwarves normal-sized people? And did they get to seven and THEN stop trying for a girl?
Why do dictionaries have page numbers – there is no index! And why do they contain words like ‘tree’ – we all know what a tree is.
Why do mirrors reflect left to right, but not upside-down?
Actually mirrors only exactly reflect what is in front of them they do not reverse an image.
Why is “abbreviated” such a long word?
If mynah birds can talk, why do you never hear two of them having a conversation?
What’s at the other end of a rainbow?
If God created man in his own image, why do we all look so different?
Why is it one match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to light a barbecue?
Why does the Commission for Racial Equality not have more white people working for it?
Why is a drunk unintelligible to anyone sober, but two drunks can have an in-depth discussion?
How do environmentalists get to all the rallies and conventions they attend – they can’t possibly walk or cycle everywhere?
Why is “brassiere” singular but “panties” is plural?
What’s the opposite of “flammable”? “Inflammable” means the same thing!
Not really an imponderable as the answer is “non-flammable” – perhaps this should have read “why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?” however, there is also an answer to this –
The word Inflammable was used for a long time, but emergency organisation and insurers, concerned that the in- prefix would be misunderstood to mean “un-” or “non-” (which in another in prefix it does) decided to remove all doubt by labelling things that can burn flammable. Both words are still in use, and both are Standard. Nonflammable, incombustible, and noncombustible are antonyms of flammable and inflammable: they mean “fireproof.”
Why do you need to make an appointment with a clairvoyant – don’t they know you are coming?
Why do suicide bombers where helmets?
How come a wood is made of trees, yet trees are made of wood?
Can cross-eyed teachers control their pupils?
How many light-bulb jokes does it take to change an accountant?
How come every time I feel like opening a can of worms, the supermarket’s out of stock?
Do temporary traffic lights ever get to hold down a permanent position?
How do you go about cooking the shrimp that live around volcanic fumaroles on the ocean floor, where the temperature is about 500 degrees Celcius? (Yes, I know really, I’m a physicist, but the truth is dull.)
Above 6 contributed by Hamish Ramsay
Why in medicine commercials, the people use the medicine that doesn’t work, when they already own the working medicine?
Why do they call it “carpet”, if it has nothing to do with cars, or pets?
How come, when a very attractive woman gets angry with a man, she’ll sometimes say….”Kiss my ass?” That’s more of a turn on than a retort.
Why do they call them escalators and elevators when they go down?
Are phones in prison called cell phones?
Why are belly buttons (navel) present in all drawings and paintings of Adam and Eve?
If Round-Up kills grass, would Square-Down make it grow?
If you have a bad dream during an afternoon nap, would it be called a daymare?
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