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More of lifes imponderables.



 


MORE
OF LIFE’S IMPONDERABLES

The definition of
“imponderable” is “cannot be estimated or assessed in any
definite way” or “something difficult or impossible to
assess”.  

Not all those listed on
this site fall strictly into this category if given enough thought. 
For example – “Why do shops have signs saying ‘ Guide dogs only’ when
dogs can’t read?  Obviously the sign is meant for (non guide) dog
owners who can read.

Nevertheless they do give
something to think about!

person with question mark over head


How
come they never tell stories about Jesus Christ when he was a
teenager?
How
do the cell phone companies choose your cell phone number and will
the companies one day run out of numbers to issue?
How
come we don’t pronounce the year 2000 as twenty hundred – like 1900
and 2007 as twenty o seven?
What
does the back of the tongue look like?
In
the movies or TV shows what exactly do “extras” talk about
in the background?  Do they just move their mouths or pretend
they are talking about something interesting?

Jorge
Marquez contributed all the above.

If
Walmart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing in the store
is free yet?
If
something “goes without saying”, why do people still say
it?
If
olive oil comes from olives, why doesn’t baby oil come from babies?
If
a cow laughs hard, does milk come out it’s nose?

Jennifer
Horvath kindly sent in all the above.

Why
is it in Walmarts, there is a sign that says this exit is not an
entrance?  Isn’t that implied it is not an entrance when it is
called an exit?
Why do they
put the yield signs in front of train tracks?  Do people really
think they have the right of way over the train?
If
a police officer is on a way to the crime, and he sees another one
on the way to the original one, does he stop?  or does he go
where he is called?
Why
is it police officers do not wear their seat belts when we get fined
if we don’t?  Are they not able to be thrown from the car?

All the
above contributed by Alex Kelly

Why
do we call it a near-miss? If we avoided an accident, shouldn’t it
be called a “near-hit”.

Paul
Gutierrez

When
a car is on an ad on tv and the car is moving forward why are the
wheels turning backward?

Bruce
Bergren

Why do men have nipples?                                                                                               Jim Power
& Dennis

N.
Kapteyn from
Holland, has sent in an explanation for this –

“We are all girls in mommy`s tummy but if chromosome Y comes, we
are a boy.”

Why are submarines fitted with screen
doors?                                                                                                  
T.K.

Where
does your lap go when you stand up?
Why
as an open door called ajar?
Why
can’t you keep your eyes open whilst you sneeze?
Why
can you never find anywhere to hang a skyhook?

All the
above sent in by E. Bishop.

If
it is true that we are here to help others, then what are the others
here for?
Ever
wondered what the speed of lightning would be if it didn’t zig zag?
Does
killing time damage eternity?
Why
is it that when you are driving and looking for an address, you turn
down the volume on the radio?
How
do you write zero in Roman numerals?
If
space is a vacuum who changes the bags?
If
swimming is good for your shape then why do the whales look the way
they do?
If
you jog backwards will you gain weight?
Why
is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
If
a turtle doesn’t have a shell is he homeless or
naked?                                  

All the above
from Liza Hicks
Why
do drive up ATMs have braille on them?  
                                                                                                                                                             
Josh


Many blind people take a cab to
the bank. They do not want to give the driver their PIN etc.

John
Johns

How
did the “keep off the grass” sign get there? 
                                                                                                                                                             
Dee
How
does the non stick coating stay on a
pan?        
                                                                                                                                                     
Dave
Why
do cobblers always cut
keys?                                                                                                  

Charlene
Where
does the flame of a candle go when you blow it
out?                                                       
 
Charlene
If
knees were backwards what would chairs look like?   
                                          Hazel Winters
& Dennis
Why
is the light always red when I pull up at a street
light?                                                                 

Leo
Why
do people leave a teaspoon of milk in the
fridge?
                                                                    
Leo
Why
isn’t phonetics spelled like it sounds?   
                                                                    
Hanover branch
Who
was the first man to look at a cow and think “I’m going to
squeeze them dangly bits and drink whatever comes out”?

Sean
Basketfield

If
you sit in a car in a traffic jam, do you come to a stand
still?                                              

Ronald Guest

Do
narcoleptics ever get over-tired?                                                                                      
Dave Oakley

The
following have been sent in by Ellert

Do mail men deliver there own mail
or does another mail man do that?  if so who delivers their
mail? is there like a never ending chain of mail men?
Why can’t you just write the
letter when writing music instead of these retarded circles?
Who buys a non reusable digital
camera?!?!?
Why is it when ever you clean your
room the next time you come home it’s up-side down again?
If your body is a temple why do people
want to violate it?
Why is it awkward silence is
always broken up by laughter or some one saying
– hmmm awkward silence?
What would you say if the Pope sneezed.

                                                                                 
Dennis

If people are re-incarnated, why does
the world’s population keep increasing?

                  
Dennis

 

The
following are been contributed by Ian Tapscott

If
Barbie is so popular why do you have to buy her friends?
Why
do psychics have to ask you for your name?
What
happens if you get scared half to death twice?
How
do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
OK
so what is the speed of dark?
Despite
the cost of living, it remains popular.
Where does the
dark go when you switch on the
light?                                        
            
Denis Smith
Why do bathroom
stall doors always open inwards?  

There is never enough room to get out.                                                                            
Brittany and Katie

Why do we have
jumbo shrimp and freezer burn?
How do
painkillers know where the pain is?
Why did you
forget what you were looking for as soon as you leave the
room?                     
Anon
If you can mix
two primary colours of paint to make other colours, why do people
bother to make other colours of paint?             
                                                                                 
          
Avery
Wehrs.         
How can you get
your homework done at school if it is supposed to be homework?

Avery
Wehrs

Why can’t you tickle
yourself?                                                                                               
 
Josh Anderson
What was Captain Hook
called before he lost his
hand?                                                       
Robert Court
If you spin an oriental
man in circles will he become
disoriented?                                    
Rob McGinness
Why is Dyslexia so hard
to
spell?                                                                                         
Norman Cooper
Is God an
Atheist?                                                                                                                  

Norman Cooper
Walt Disney
– If Pluto is Mickey’s pet dog then what is Goofy?                                         
Cheryl Butler

If
Disney’s Goofy is a dog and Mickey’s pet Pluto is a dog, how is it that
Goofy can talk but Pluto can’t?


Michael
Wallace

THE
FOLLOWING HAVE ALL BEEN SENT IN BY NEIL FOX OF OXNARD, CALIFORNIA

Why
doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
How come wrong numbers
are never busy?
If cats and dogs didn’t
have fur, would we still pet them?
Why do FAT chance and
SLIM chance mean the same thing?
Why isn’t phonetic
spelled the same way as it sounds?
Why are there interstate
Highways in Hawaii?
Why are there floatation
devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
If knees were backwards,
what would chairs look like?
How could there be
self-help GROUPS?
Why do they call it a TV
set when you just get one?
Can you be a closet
claustrophobic?
Why do trees grow
straight up when growing up the side of a mountain?
If your therapist asked
you to “let your mind go blank”, how would you know?
Have you ever imagined a
world with no hypothetical situations?
If you can’t drink and
drive, why do bars have parking lots?
If a mute swears, does
his mother make him wash his hands with soap?
What is the speed of
dark?
What if you discovered
an endangered animal that only eats endangered plants?
If you invent an acid
that could eat through anything, what would you keep it in?
Why do they call them
milkshakes if they have already been shaken?  Shouldn’t they be called
“millkshook” or “milkshaken” ?
Why do we play at
recitals and recite at plays?
Do vegetarians eat
animal cookies?
If someone with multiple
personalities threatens to kill themself is it considered a hostage
situation?
Why do noses run and
feet smell?
Is it possible to be
totally partial?
If a word is misspelled
in the dictionary, how would we know?
When companies ship
Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
If time stands still,
how would you know if it time to return?
Why is there an
expiration date on sour cream?
When sign-makers go on
strike, is anything written on their signs?
How do you know when it
is time to tune your bagpipes?
When
a bus driver has done dropping all the kids off at the end of the day and
returns the bus at the station, who closes the door after them and how is it
opened when the driver returns to work?  What stops people from taking
the bus?

Liv Anthony

Why do people say
they are going to take a dump or leak, wouldn’t they rather leave it?

Bruce Bergren

 

Imponderables Pages 1
, 3 and 4