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BULLYING

Although bullying has unfortunately always been part of life, it seems to have got progressively worse over the years in the U.K. with the latest thing being "textual harassment" i.e. bullying by sending text messages to mobile telephones. One young teenager taking an overdose of paracetamol to end her misery. I was, therefore, sad to hear that bullying also takes place in schools in America.

I have recently received a message from a youngster which I thought may help others dealing with this predicament -

"I have a friend in my class who had been bullied from year 4. We are now in year 8 and it has only just stopped. Today we had to do our speeches and she did her speech on bullying. I was very proud of her when she confronted him. As a friend the least you could do is stick by the victim if the bully knows their victim has friends they loose confidence. Just look after them and try to make them feel wanted."

It is a shame more victims don't have friends like this.

I have received this heart felt plea from a grandmother (which I have edited for obvious reasons) -

"I am a grandmother of a wonderful 8 year old in the third grade. She is an honor roll student, outstanding softball player and competitive swimmer. Our problem is that she is 5'2" tall and weighs just over 100 pounds. She is healthy and obviously active. Her paediatrician agrees that she is over the average height and weight, but wants to give her some time to see if the healthy nutritional suggestions we are following will work in the near future. Our real problem is BULLIES! The two main groups of girls in her grade tease, make a point to ignore and not include here in activities and are truly downright cruel to her and she often cries and doesn't understand. She is such a wonderfully kind little girl. She goes out of her way to be kind and friendly to two of the children who are disabled in her class - not just to have peers, this kid is really one of the most compassionate I have ever seen.

We've spoken to the school, who offered the guidance of a counsellor, but their answer basically was she was going to have to learn to deal with it.

Should I call the parents of the bullies? I've seen how some of these parents can be vicious at a simple softball game and I wonder if it could make things worse. Any suggestions appreciated. I love this special little one so much. Thank you."

Bullies are usually cowards and jealousy can be a motive. This young lady appears to be talented and compassionate with a very loving family.

In the U.K. it always seems that the victims, whether of crime or bullying, are the ones that suffer most. In the case of bullying it is often the victim which is isolated by the school or who has to move to another school.

Bullying is a very complex subject which, I am pleased to say, is getting more publicity of late. I am not qualified to give advice but there are a couple of very good British sites which have evolved due to the recent realisation of the magnitude of this problem. These sites provide sensible, realistic advice to everyone connected with this major problem:-

USEFUL RESOURCES